Thanks again to Benji and Martin and David and others for being part of the random forces that brought us together. Happy Anniversary, Sleepy Doo. Hope to see you soon.

The Haunted Mansion

While we were in New Orleans Square, waiting for Indiana Jones, we decided to enter the Haunted Mansion. I have heard much about this ride, mostly from posts on Boingboing.net, talking about updates and behind the scenes work. I didn’t take any pictures/video (Jer?), but it was one of my favorite rides. Dozen of guests crowd into the study, milling about until the door is shuttered. A voice from above starts speaking as the portraits on the walls appear to lengthen. The room has now lowered into the basement. We piled out through a hallway and into two-person carriages. William and I rode together and the others disappeared into the darkness. The ride creeps along ghoulish graveyards, haunted hallways and spooky seances. The reflective trickery was pretty top-shelf in my opinion. It kinda freaked out one of the kids.

Indiana Jones

Because we picked up a FastPass, we were able to bypass almost the entire line. Because we walked briskly through the cavernous hallway, we missed detailed work that went into keeping the line engaged. As mention in a previous post, this was the ride that asked Piper to get measured 3 times. Because she never came up short, she was very stoked.

Outside the entrance of the main chamber, an old movie reel narrated by Sallah explaining the reason behind the adventure/ride. Continuing on into the main chamber, there are a couple of connected landings for entering the Jeeps. Driving around in a friggin’ jeep (or “chiropractic demon”) made me realize how much space is required for a ride this size. Once again, no photos or videos from me, sorry.

Splash Mountain

Long story short, lineup for the log was Piper, Jerry, Ariel, William and Me. Piper and Jerry took the brunt of the splash. Piper was unhappy and wet. Jerry was wet. We were expecting the Splash Mountain photo to help us remember the good times. No such luck. No photo available.

Disney Dream Hotel

After the rides, we went back to the room to eat and sleep. While Jerry read a story to the little ones, I found the one non-convenience store in the area.

Food-4-Less

A 30-minute walk to forage for food, listen to some tunes and breath in some California air. I started out, walking down the Magic Way, left on Walnut and south toward Katella. With my headphones on and hoodie pulled up (it was a chilly 50 degrees) I turned and walked towards brilliant lights in the distance.

The Palm Reader Mega-Store. Nothing funny or exciting to say, but here were quite a few vehicles in the parking lot at 9pm.

I got to the Food-4-Less and purchased our fruit, veggies, yogurt, spoons, milk, juice, etc. While playing mental-Tetris, plugging the perishables into the small refrigerator, I was forgetting that I was on foot and would be carrying everything. Crossing the parking lot, past the closed donut shop (Sorry Ariel) and the very lively Taco Bell, I headed back with Beck as my guide. Unfortunately, he was paying about as much attention as I was and we overshot the entrance to the park.

By the time I realized I was on the north side of the park, I thought I would be able to get in the back way. Not knowing that I would be forced to walk under the Disneyland Hotel entrance and back around. Blah, blah, blah. The Yellow line is the path I took to get to the store and the Red line is my return path. All the stuff to the right is Disneyland and California Adventure.

Autopia (Driving, Miss Crazy)
After Jedi Training we cruised over to Autopia, the last original ride in Tomorrowland. Between the little driver licenses scattered everywhere and the diesel fume, this ride definitely needs some love.

I think William was in the lead vehicle, Piper and Jerry in the middle and Ariel and I bringing up the rear. I cannot stress how much I do not want to lend Ariel my car in about 7 years. Just kidding. (No, I am not.) Anyway, the steering wheel had a lot of play and Ariel was over-over-correcting the entire route. I would have not done much better, but listening to myself try to talk her through it was kinda funny. Also, I had to operate the gas pedal, had it floored the entire time and never caught up to Jer+Pi.

Astro Blaster
I attempted to capture video of every ride, unless the magic voices called out against flash photography and video. Since I could not tape the Buzz Lightyear AstroBlaster ride and was left to ride solo again, I did what I could. Two Fisted Phasers of Fury! As you may see by the score, my right arm, now known as Space Ranger 1, was a much better shot than Space Ranger 2. I think the power wrist band was sapping the strength out of SP2.

Space Mountain
Throughout the park, Piper had a personal challenge - to be as tall as possible. Whenever she saw the, “You must be this tall to ride this ride”, she stepped up. Literally, every single time a height measurement device was around she would walk over and stand underneath it. I think the first test was for Space Mountain. She easily pass the height test there. The next days she was measured 3 times while in one line at the Indiana Jones ride. This was the only ride that she barely made it on. But back to Space Mountain. The video I took I could have made by just spinning my camera around a poorly lit room - useless. Useless, except for Jerry’s screaming, trying to get the kids into it.

I think a few of the rides may have been a little much for some of the kids. When we got off Space Mountain, Piper said, “That was scary. Let’s do it again!” But then we had to walk the huge line out and back in, so we decided to come back on the last day.

Disneyland Train
The Disneyland Train will take you around the park, dropping off in a variety of place (for you to buy stuff). There are a couple of lengths of the route that go back in time to the time of dinosaurs (6000B.C.). The first or second of many times through were pretty cool, but then it wore off, like seeing Goofy.

The Jungle Cruise / Tarzan’s House
The Jungle Cruise has been around forever - and it shows. It was one of my least favorite rides. Even the hippos were yawning at the puns.

Next door was Tarzan’s House. I believe it was the Swiss Family Robinson home in it’s previous life. It was one of my least favorite non-rides.

Pirates of the Caribbean
Even though the Pirates of the Caribbean has been Johnny Deppified, it was pretty cool and spooky. Not as spooky as the Haunted Mansion. That will come later.

While we waited for our table at Chez Goofy or Goofy’s Kitchen, William took bird photos and I paced, trying to suppress the urge for foofie coffee next door. Any dog that can wear a hat AND drive a car should be able to pull off some great coffee. Once in Goofy’s Kitchen, a world of wonder and confusion pummels you with miscellaneous mute Disney characters that appear at your table, the all-you-can-eat buffet and Goofy’s constant cocofany of kitchen calamities.

First, you are corralled into the Pluto photo-op in hopes that you will buy the pix. Then you are led to your table past the other weary travelers. The buffet consists of the standard fruits, cereals and meats as well as the non-standard items in shape of characters (Mickey pancakes, Mickey waffles and Donald in Mathematics Land French Toast) and items like PB&J pizza. The kid, Jerry and I piled our first course with of eggs, meat, Mickey/Donald things and juice. Within a few bites all hell broke loose. In an apparent attempt to attention, every 15-20 minutes or so, Goofy will either throw a tantrum, forcing the kids to help him clean up or he invited them to help make food in the kitchen. There were many labor laws broken. I saw children as young as 2 banging pots and pans together, dancing frantically, trying to confuse Goofy so others could escape.

Nevertheless, Jerry and I continue to eat. During the second course of fruits and tepid coffee, the characters started the onslaught. Chip, of “and Dale” fame walked over and just stared. William spoke up saying that Chip was his favorite. Chip then hugged William and the girls and left his autograph. I think this is when Piper realized that turning on the charm might get somewhere. Ballou, the Jungle Bear popped up next and Piper let it be known that he was her favorite and that it was William’s birthday. Maybe she was hoping for free cake (in an all-you-can-eat), but nothing doing. The fact that none of the characters spoke kinda weirded the kids out. But when Alice appeared and then spoke, I think the British accent confused them. With so many characters coming in waves, I almost felt like it was starting to piss the kids off. Dale was greeted warmlyand left his autograph. This was when Jerry pointed out he thought Chip was a boy and Dale was a girl. I thought he was riffing on some in-joke that he would tell me later, but he was simply pointing to the handwriting samples.

Goofy came around to apologize about the kitchen kerfuffle and I think bit Jerry’s neck. I can’t remember if his slapstick antics are what led up the Piper quote, “I just threw up a little in a my mouth.”

 == THE RIDES ==

Star Tours

I wanted to ride this when I was younger, but it was being repaired or updated. It was an OK ride. It is a non-roller coaster, pretend you are moving ride. Dozens of people are belted into rows and a PeeWee Herman voiced robot takes you on a tourist trip to the moon of Endor. A video will be posted later.

Astro Orbiter Rocket

This was a pretty fun ride. I think the really dug it. 1-2 people can fit in the ships that are spun around, allowing for the pilot to ascend to descend with a handle. Piper always wanted to be higher than everyone else, because she thought it meant to were doing better than the others. Videos will be posted later.

Jedi Training

A few times every day, many younglings gather and a few are chosen to become Jedi Padawan. They are trained with lightsabers and immediately thrown into battle against Darth Maul and Vader. Piper and William were picked for training. Videos will be posted later.

The Volcano / The Rain Forest Cafe / The Dreams Hotel

Jerry invited me to help chaperone Ariel, Piper and William on their trip to Disneyland. Since I worked through my vacation time around Christmas, I decided the trip would do me good and I would get to spend time with the shorties. My experience with Disneyland has been limited to a part-day trip in 1993, when I tag along to California with my friend Marc. We hit a handful of rides, Star Tours was closed and we ran into a few folks from the dorms. The most memorable part of the park, was the SkyWay Tram that went through the Matterhorn and allowed for some great photos. It was removed in 1994.

R.I.P. - SkyWay Tram

The plan for Day One - Fly to California, get to Disneyland, hope for sunshine (It was raining when we got there and the forecast called for continuous rain.) and get prepared to hitting the ground running on Day Two.  While waiting to board the plane, I tried to set the kids’ minds at ease about flying. I’d forgotten they’d all flown more than Jerry and I had by the time we were in our 30s.  Jerry laid out the plans for which areas and rides we would shoot for on what days as well as the genius, “If you see something you’d like to get for yourself or your family members, write it down in your notebooks and we will get them on the last day.” This allows the clan to roam the park without being weighed down by hats, lightsabers, etc. It also helps weed out and narrow down the items that the kids might really want.

Looking for our flight to Santa Ana / Waiting at the John Wayne Airport

We ate at the Rain Forest Cafe, checked out the Lego Store and surrounding shoppes. Jerry and the kids went swimming while I read.  Later that night I swam while they slept. I stayed in the deep end, all 4 foot of it. I can’t remember if this was the night Jerry saw the host of Dirty Jobs neutering farm animals with his teeth. (Sorry for no warning, but we didn’t get one either.)

Vintage Kids’ Books My Kid Loves is a blog I found on Boingboing.net a few weeks ago. Some of you may know of my ongoing search for the “Chicken Book”, which led to my spelunking through these pages. I was able to find many great classic books that I have not seen for years. A few of the above images come from (Starting top-left going clockwise) “5 Chinese Brothers”, “Donkey-Donkey”, “Cannonball Simp” and “Me and My Flying Machine”.

This was my favorite finds of her blog, ““.

 When they arrived, the egg had hatched. There stood the strangest animal that ever was!“He doesn’t look like any animal I have ever seen before”, said Rabbit. “He has a big beak and little webbed feet just like Duck.”
“He has a tail and a fur coat just like Beaver,” said Mrs. Hen. “And he is very shy, like Squirrel.” “What are you, my dear?” asked Mrs. Hen.But the roly-poly animal said, “I don’t know.” Then splash, kersplash! that roly-poly animal jumped into the river and swam right down to the bottom.
I hope one of my nieces or nephews (or sisters or brother) grow up to write and/or illustrate children’s books. If anyone wants to get any of these for my birthday…

Like you, I tend to hide from cameras. Therefore, we have very few actual photos of you. So here is Fivey looking forward to your birthday celebration when you come back to Portland. Once again, thank you very much for everything you have done for us. We love you and miss you. Happy 59th.

Three years ago we tricked each other into marriage. We’ve been together almost ten years, but it seems like forever. In a good way. So, in keeping up with my chronic procrastination, I didn’t sit down to make her a handwritten “thank you for putting up with me/oh, how I cherish you more every day” letter. I didn’t knock something off the honey-do list. But I also didn’t try and plan something, only to have it get sidetracked by her many over achieving extracurricular activities, ending up mad because I wanted to surprise her, but she didn’t fully know. See how I have learned. It only took three years.

We have grown to know more about each other than we should. We finish the other’s laugh, we guess the other’s stupid punchline, and she eats the last of the cookies. We are each other’s sounding board, each other’s enabler, and each other’s nemesis. “And we rely on each other, ah-ah.”

So, Arleta Library B&C ginger cookies, take-out Hawaiian chicken and promises of keeping cable so she can watch her “stories” - and then she heads for the other room. By that, I mean she left me to quietly watch Daily Show episodes, so she can work on her script. Oh, happy anniversary honey.

Again, I’d like to throw a shout out to Kristy and the Drurys, the Moms and Dads, all the Harmons, the Balmers, the Clines, the Nickels, all my work peeps, the shorties, David & Michael, the O’Rourkes, the kitties, the Ethiopian shepard who pondered why his flock got all jumpy after eating those coffea beans and all the wonderful people of the Arleta Libray Bakery & Cafe.

AND….

It was also three years ago today, that Krista walked into the back yard to pick flowers and ended up finding these two. This is Fivey and GoGo, cramming in the last few minutes of a sunbeam and apparently very unamused about our switch to Decaf. Today also, marked the first time that GoGo let any of the shorties, Flyboy and Tiny-E (Luke and Emmett) give her a hug. It only took three years.

I’m glad we all found each other,

-Kisses

For the past 20 years I have been using the term “yard apes” to describe little kids running rampant, as seen through the eyes of pets. I couldn’t remember where I picked it up and have never paid much attention. Recently I saw an article about an official in Louisiana, who, during the Katrina evacuations called the evacuees, “yard apes”. This was rightfully or wrongfully construed as a form of “porch monkeys.” Needless to say, even though Opus and the Bloom County cast (thanks, the internet) ingrained that phrase into my brain, I’m OK with letting it go.

I was thinking of ending with the quote from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, “If we offend…”, but then remembered it was opposite of what I had in my mind.

“…it is with our good will that you should think we come, not to offend.”

“Comcast acknowledges that it hired people to take up room at an F.C.C. hearing into its practices.”

I’ve been on the fence about staying with our current Nettubeuberweb provider, which happens to serve up our tv and phone tambien. (<– that may be the first time my brain went for a Spanish word without my control.) (Also, I was in Spanish class a few hours ago, so not that big a deal I guess.) Anyway, everyone knows the choices for tv/internet/phone service are slim in this area, but we may dump tv altogether and lessen our phone service. We went without cable tv for years, back when we were in love.

The fact that Comcast either paid seat fillers or brought in their own employees to a FCC hearing, essentially blocking journalists and concerned folks from watching or possibly being heard, really pissed me off. I think I am a little naive, because I thought this kind of crap died off sometime around the advent of the talkies. You gotta hand it to them, that is pretty dickish thing to do. You’re doing a heck of a job, big company. Company that I pay money to. Please help destroy what little W hasn’t destroyed yet.

Someday I’ll blog happy stuff again.